Samstag, 21. März 2015

On Comparing Yourself

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We constantly compare things - we compare flights, chocolate brands (Lindt all the way!), body types, prices, our successes and failures. From a very young age on, we learn that life is a constant competition. My kindergarten teacher compared the apples and pears that I had to cut out from paper with the ones from other kids and made me feel bad because mine were looking so irregular and she concluded that I therefore was quite a clumsy kid (I tell you, the first thing they ask you at a job interview is how well you cut out fruits from paper). Then you write your first tests in school and everyone is compared to each other, it continues at University and/or your workplace. Life seems to mean that you constantly have to proof yourself, show the world that you can meet all the requirements that people around you impose on you. 
I know that I cannot change the competition that is so omnipresent in this world and I am also aware that we need it in a way because it's good when you are able to proof that you are better than others in a certain field and that you then get what you deserve. 
But I also see a lot of "bad comparison", comparison that makes you feel bad and brings you down. I have written a blogpost about happiness and how hard and impossible it is to constantly be or look like you're as happy as a character in a disney movie. And I also think the reason why we are unhappy and not content with our lives from time to time is that we are always comparing ourselves to other people. Especially after having left school, everyone is side glancing what everybody else is doing and that makes them either feel bad (omg, everyone has already got into uni/a job and I have just chilled and eaten cheesecake for the past few months!, help! everyone is travelling from Australia to Brazil and I'm still at home helping my grandma in the garden! ) or relieved (puuh, xy doesn't know what to do with his/her life yet either!). And even if all your friends are travelling around the globe and meet hot australian boys who give parties with free beer and sausages - it doesn't matter. This is your life and if you don't feel strong enough to leave your family for a year or you just haven't figured out what to do the rest of your life yet, then that's totally fine. You have to find your own pace - a tempo with which you feel comfortable to walk through your life. Of course, I don't want to encourage you to lay on the sofa, eat chips and watch netflix for the next five years, but you should be allowed to have some time to realize what you want to do next. You could have a minijob to take some financial burden from your parents if that makes it easier for you and your family to take that "reflection time". 
Comparing is a good thing when you grow with it, it is good when you say: "okay, she did it, I can do it, too", but it looses its good qualities when it brings you down. At the end of the day, we live life alone and we have to go our own ways, it's so amazing that we are joined by wonderful people, but we shouldn't let the paths they go define our own. 

Have a wonderful day!
Laura



Kommentare:

  1. It can be so hard not to compare ourselves to others!
    Melanie @ meandmr.com

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  2. I really enjoyed reading this post. Comparison is the root of all lack of satisfaction, I know it because I tend to think "How unfair! That person never had to work hard and now is travelling around the world with the parents' trust fund, while I've been working for years and didn't even leave Europe yet." instead of going positive like: "I'm really lucky because I've visited a few places in Europe and really enjoyed it, and can be proud of my hard work to earn and save the money I deserve". So, we can get so negative and catty... Social networks don't help the issue either! I wonder if it's envy or just unhappiness. Fuck knows... xx

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  3. Wow! Dein Text ist so toll und wahr! Ich finde, du hast wirklich Talent, so etwas zu verfassen! Weiter so!

    Alles Liebe
    Hanna von voll verpinselt

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  4. you wrote it so well :)
    it's true we compare too much. can you believe i challanged myself to stop it for a while? i felt better :)

    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/

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  5. This comment is so true! Well done! Keep on writing comments like that <3 R

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  6. You're right- the comparison starts at such a young age in the classroom! I'm in my 30s and still struggle with it, it's hard not to compare yourself to people where you want to be, but we all have our own pace!

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